Author Biography:

Monica Parker (Los Angeles and Toronto) is an actor, writer and producer in theater, television and film; most notably she co-wrote All Dogs Go to Heaven. She was born and raised in Glasgow, Scotland, until the age of 13 when she immigrated with her parents to Toronto, Canada. Monica is currently starring in her insightful and funny one-woman show, Sex, Pies & a Few White Lies, which premiered in 2010. Monica has just completed two features already under option, and has a recurring role on Syfy’s “Defiance.” Monica lives with her longtime husband and saint, Gilles.

Synopsis of the Memoir:

Monica Parker bridges the divide between serial dieter’s guide and memoir, taking readers on a hilariously funny yet bumpy ride from chubby baby to chunky adult.

In Getting Waisted, Monica begins every chapter with a diet she committed to and reveals how much weight, money, and self-esteem she lost, and then how much weight she gained when she fell off the wagon. She shares her fears and frustrations – when Mr. Right appears out of thin air, will she run back to the catalogue of Mr. Wrongs out of fear? She reveals society’s prejudices against overweight people: “No one tells a short person to get taller, or a tall person to get shorter, but fat people hear about their bodies all the time.” From living large in a sub-zero world to jumping into the dating pool without causing a tidal wave of angst, Monica learns that when you stop buying what the “diet devils” are selling and start liking yourself, life is far more rewarding. Readers will laugh and cry as Monica realizes that while she thought it was her body that was in the way, it was actually what she kept in her head that needed adjusting.

Ultimately, Getting Waisted is an inspirational look at life through society’s warped fun-house mirror perspective, but Monica’s reflections tell the real tale: everyone is always under construction and we are all flawed, chipped and dented, but that doesn’t mean we’re not interested, vital and sexy.

The following interview is quite unique, as instead of submitting Questions through a blog tour organiser or a publicist on behalf of the author I am interviewing, I had the opportunity to speak to Ms. Parker on the telephone for a live interview! My first thus far on Jorie Loves A Story, and I was most delighted with the outcome! It was a blessing to be able to connect to an author whose book I had just read as much as it was a lovely conversation to find a connection with a fellow artist! The result below is a coordinated transcript between Ms. Parker & myself! There are naturally bits of the conversation which are not revealed below, as anytime you enjoy a conversation with someone, you do have the pleasure of going off-topic from what you originally were going to speak to them about!

The blessing for me was hearing her voice, listening to her responses, and feeling as though I knew a bit more about the ‘Monica Parker’ within the pages of Getting Waisted! The honour was mine to not only host her for a two-day showcase on my bookish blog but to be able to speak with her directly by phone! An experience I shall not soon forget and a conversation I do believe you will settle into and enjoy!

Without further adieu,… here is how our conversation unfolded just past noon and into the one o’ clock hour one week ago:

What was the transition moment for you to realize that self-worth & self-acceptance was in your control to have rather than to continue to deny yourself of both!?

Parker responds: Within the memoir “Getting Waisted” there is a scene that involves me going for a beautiful Sunday in the park walk with my new boyfriend, Gilles when three teenagers leaning against a tree call me fat! I was mortified and then believed that Gilles ‘now knew I was fat. His response is what surprised and shook me but the words were ones that I needed to hear (even if was for the first time) “I like you. You have to decide how. Not for me, but for you.” I had a lot of issues with self-loathing and it would take time for me to release them. I am a strong woman but inner peace took awhile to come to me. My family was often judgmental and it was new for me to be with someone who validated who I am, as I was.

He reflected an image you had not yet even brought forward yourself as an acceptance of who you were and his reflection of how you are seen. I thought it was incredible how caring he was in that moment to realize what you needed to hear and how it freed you from your past to walk into your future.

Your childhood was beyond unconventional, yet I wondered as your story moved away from your family and resumed where you were as you started to lead your own life away from them , if your relationship with your brother & sister either improved or became distant due to distance?

Parker responds: I am incredibly close to my family, especially my half-sister who was more like a second mother to me, due to our age difference. As I grew, the judgmental & negative influences stopped and only the strength was left behind. When you give clear boundaries people will respect you, then you can walk forward with self-respect being in the center & heart of where you are. People cannot tear down a confident person and I choose to assert my strength through confidence.

I am so thankful to hear that your still close to your sister and that in time, the negative aftereffects of what you’ve written about in the memoir have broken away to leave you with a family full of support, kindness, and love.

You’ve gone through a lot in your career as both an actress and as a comedian, when did you feel you had finally arrived to the point where your talent and your strengths were seen more so than the judging eyes of society? Where they finally saw Monica Parker as the strong woman she is with the wicked humour?

Parker responds: I was offered a series (The Bobby Vinton Show) that was a mistake – a bad decision on my end of it. The job appeared to be great but they wanted me to be the butt of the worst kind of jokes. (the kind that are intended to embarrass) The job therefore was humiliating and a mistake overall. Money does not equate doing demeaning work. I only regret that I did not stand up for myself when I first arrived and told them I made a terrible mistake. But I learned from it and it was a lesson I only needed to learn once.

I am simply thankful it was only one time in which this happened to you and that the rest of the time people have appreciated you! You have a lot of wicked talent, and the few videos I have watched online always carry with them your keen sense of humour and your ability to connect to everyone in the audience, no matter our background or our age! A true gift indeed! Plus, I think any woman who can draw humour out of a woman’s life within the pains of weight gain & weight loss is a true gem to find!

Now that you’ve written a memoir, do you have any aspirations to continue writing? Either non-fiction or fiction!?

Parker responds: I am going to release an e-book entitled: 101 Humiliations, but there are other books in the works. I am a writer, we always have new ideas! The e-book will deal with what causes the pain behind the humiliations whilst shining a light on the fact we’re all human and should never feel ashamed. I will always write though. Stories and ideas are part of being a writer. Each of them is like a boat that takes a lot of polish to get to where it is ready to sail. Books need a lot of encouragement and hard work to stay afloat.

I can understand this completely, as that is in part what I was inspired to do with my Booking The Rails feature where I read & discuss the books that are being left on the NYC Subway & the London Tube system! I wanted to help encourage people to remember to ‘talk’ about the books they are reading and not just simply hit a ‘like’ button or add the book to a list that is growing too large to handle. I want people to remember that half the joy in reading, is the sharing of the story of finding it and passing forward the joy of wanting to read it next! I think this is one reason the term “book cheerleader” fits me as well as it does. I truly love to rally behind & cheer for the books which alight in my heart & spirit.

I can definitely relate to you on the level as a writer – our sea of inspiration is never without its curious beginnings.

What were the tools you used to write “Getting Waisted” Which hour of the day did you find you could lay thought to the page!?

Parker responds: It wasn’t until I saw that my son was talking about my book in his social media world that I realized he had remembered all the little bits of paper that I was using to work on the book idea! He was most impressed that all the work was coming to a conclusion and was being given a proper place in the memoir. I have a unique file system, as it is more of a shoebox full of little treasure notes than of a regular writer’s filing cabinet. I write where I am at the moment an idea comes to me. Matchboxes. Napkins. Little sequences. One liners. Essays. Anecdotes of life. Everything and anything was written down at the very moment I remembered it might be useful.

Into the box it all went and then, it came time to organize it for “Getting Waisted” which I did on my bed – arranged everything in groupings of colour to reflect conjoined topics. For instance “Red = Love” & “Green = Self-Loathing”. I considered this process my “Brain Treasure Box” because everything I thought to write was on paper and saved for safe keeping. I use anything handy to write with as well: pen, crayon, stick, whatever!

I used to carry a notebook in my purse to grab down a thought or an observation including self-observation about myself rather than someone on the outside. I can write better, faster, and more accurately by pen and paper than by a computer.

I love this idea of the treasure box! In fact, so much so, I am going to see if I can start to implement the idea, because I oft have ideas that appear to float right past me, as I am either short on time or I get distracted by life itself. I love the idea that in the end you have amassed such a large representation of what you want to write that you just need to dig through it all and re-arrange it back into its proper space and order! What a wonderfully wicked idea! Thank you for sharing this as I am hoping it will inspire others as much as it has inspired me!

I agree with you about the computer, except of late, I find myself unable to write by hand for longer periods of time verse the time I am able to write by computer. Sighs. One day I would like to get back to pen & paper directly, sitting for long hours and being musefully enraptured by the paper, the page, and my imagination. Until then, this idea of jotting down short spurts of ideas and little notions of stories is perfect for what I can do in longhand!

How To Look Good Naked with Carson Kressley was a show Mum & I loved as it was in full embrace of every person’s unique body type. There was another series about how best to dress a full-figured woman based on a New York Boutique in Brooklyn I believe!? The thing that did not sit well with Mum and I is that both series barely lasted a month (or so it had appeared) before they were a figment of our imagination! Why do you think even with solid positive portrayals of real women & real issues, shows go off the air as if they were less important than another?

Parker responds: Although I have not seen the shows in question I would have to presume it was due to the nature of each show allowing the audience to have full acceptance of who they are rather than asking them to make a change in their life. They were promoting self-confidence and self-acceptance, and in our world today that is a hard marketing ploy to help a show stay on the air. We need to all realize that we need to accept who we are and celebrate ourselves. This includes acknowledging we have body diversity as we simply are not all going to look like each other. Shows like “The Biggest Loser” on the other hand will always be successful due to the fact they meet the bottom line and can be marketed as a show to ‘change people’s lives’.

I just find all this quite sad and although true, I find it sad that we cannot accept a show that celebrates joy and happiness rather than always being in a position to have to incur the change people think others need to make. It reminds me of a story my Mum told me about when the local newspaper when we lived in the city attempted an experiment to print only the ‘good’ news rather than the regular kind. She said they barely lasted the first month and canned the idea! Apparently happiness and joy is the hardest ‘sell’ no matter what industry attempts to embrace it.

The pace of “Getting Waisted” reminds me of your watching snippets of your comedy routines. How did you bring in your performance to the memoir to where pure honesty & sharp wit converge as the story is revealed?

Parker responds: Go for it – if it’s honest, it’s okay. Organic fusion. How I think went into the words. Given many, many years working as an actress I find it easy to get into the head of the characters, especially into their thoughts. Do not over think?

I still find it interesting how you were able to merge both styles of writing into the voice contained in the narrative’s scope. It was seamless and beautiful at the same time! I felt I was listening to your voice and felt your presence throughout the book.

Was there any part of the process to publish “Getting Waisted” which surprised you?

Parker responds: It made me genuinely happy how many people can relate to the story and I can talk to them about it. Hearing and reading that people see your honesty and are willing to come on the journey I have lived and how warmly received the book is – people get it. Which made me happy.

I think this book is going to be a champion book for women who are seeking to find a memoir written by a woman who is relatable to everywoman. You qualify for this classification hand’s down in how your approach to the subject and the topic of Women’s Health as it relates to dieting, weight loss, exercise, and the foundational shift towards seeking a body of acceptance is a topic that all women of every age can relate too.

What is the one thing readers tell you at a live meet & greet that has resonated with you?

Parker responds: So many people struggle with weight issues and their response has been humbling. I am happy that it has resonated with so many.One never knows ever know how an audience will take to a book. Lots of trust!

It is because you put your heart into the thread of the words that I think most women are able to identify with you in the story but also with you in real-life when you meet them at live events. It is a special balance between reading “Getting Waisted” as a memoir and reading it as a novel of a women’s life.

You talk about PhotoShop and the unrealistic image in magazines and print media. I completely agree. What I find more shocking is that when I was growing up I did not want to be the model. I wanted to find elements of the style I fancied in my own size and wear it in a way that I could call my own. I am not sure where the disconnect started from gaining inspiration to being motivated to self-harm, self-loathing, or starvation?

Parker responds: Artists are individuals who do not follow the crowd. Everyone has a personal level of insecurity. Fame is a by-product of success. Some are famous because they were infamous. People are addicted to celebrity because of celebrity culture. A normal barometer of being different is where artists elect to start the trend. Being at the beginning is much better than being at the end. Artists see the world differently by nature, and therefore the disconnect comes by disconnecting from the ones who do not understand it is okay to be that individual who is unique.

This was one of my favourite bits to our conversation because I could personally relate to the answer as it relates to how artists grow up and how we perceive the world around us. It was a beautiful arc in the phone call, and one that went a few different areas past the original question which I was thankful of happening.

Little Quotes of our Talk: Reflections of Monica Parker

Everyone should stand against bullies and hatred. Kindness is a better path to follow to get what you want in life. To lead the life you want to lead, kindness gets you to where you want to go. Meanness makes you small and bitter.

I have found an interesting fact amongst males and females who read: guys prefer e-books whereas girls prefer books in print!

Writing is a completely altered state of awareness. You are not really aware of where you are as you are working away at your desk on a story but you’re off somewhere far-away at the same time.

I like to pick up treasures as I travel anything that is funny, interesting, beautiful, and eclectic, that ultimately become a happy mosaic.

We’re not all meant to look the same as each other. I like to think that through body diversity we like the best box of chocolates. All shapes, sizes, colors and flavours. We are uniquely ourselves. Unfortunately not everyone is capable of embracing diversity.

Happiness can be simple. Joy does not have to be complicated.

I asked a few additional questions after our conversation had ended:

Walking down a nature trail is a calming balm, not only to exercise without realizing you are but to step outside into the beauty which lives near us all the time. Where do you like to walk most!?

Parker responds: In the woods along side a river.

Did your son find a creative pursuit in life simliar to his parents?

Parker responds: He is insanely creative. He is a renaissance man in many ways. Professionally an engineer, which is all about creative solutions and he’s a terrific writer and very conceptual.

Have you ever had the chance to return back to the Highlands? To visit Glasgow and if so, what are your favourite parts of your Scottish roots?

Parker responds: My favorite thing about Scotland is the rugged beauty that can be found all around. Its redolent with history.

Official Author Websites:  Site | Facebook | Twitter 

Converse via: #GettingWaisted

Similar to blog tours, when I feature a showcase for an author via a Guest Post, Q&A, Interview, etc., I do not receive compensation for featuring supplemental content on my blog.

Previously I featured my book review for “Getting Waisted” by Monica Parker.

I would like to extend my gratitude to Ms. Chan, Ms. Parker’s publicist for arranging for me not only to receive the ARC of the memoir but for setting up the lovely afternoon conversation which occured between Ms. Parker and myself! I had a wonderful time hosting Ms. Parker on Jorie Loves A Story, and I am most delighted that our paths crossed in the twitterverse in order to bring these events not only to my bookish blog, but to have the ability to cross paths with a woman I shall not soon forget meeting! It was a wonderful moment in my life and I have wonderful memories of the experience to keep close to my heart. I thank each of you for your kindness & time in stitching this together.

{SOURCES: Author photograph, Author Biography, Book Synopsis, and Book Cover were provided by Darlene Chan PR and were used by permission. Author Interview badge provided by Parajunkee to give book bloggers definition on their blogs. Post dividers & My Thoughts badge by Fun Stuff for Your Blog via Pure Imagination. Tweets were embedded due to codes provided by Twitter. Welcome Notice for Monica Parker created by Jorie in Canva.}

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