#TheSundayPost | XXV | About Jorie’s Mum and sorting out which stories to read

[Official Blurb] The Sunday Post is a weekly meme hosted by Kimberly @ Caffeinated Book Reviewer. It’s a chance to share news. A post to recap the past week, showcase books and things we have received and share news about what is coming up for the week on our blog. This is your news post, so personalize it! Include as much as you want or as little. Be creative, it can be a vlog or just a showcase of your goodies. Link up once a week or once a month, you decide. Book haul can include library books, yard sale finds, arcs and bought books.. share them!

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Jorie’s life behind the blog:

It has been three weeks now since I shared the news of my father’s passing. The wall of fatigue that has been hitting me in waves whilst I work has been quite intense, but I don’t have the ability to take any more time off from working. I told my night boss I’d be returning to full hours on the 1st of September as well – not because I’m suddenly ready to return to full-time hours but because it’s going to be a necessity. I’ve been trying to moonlight a bit to off-set the lost hours from the night job but it is either wicked good or a lower than hopeful income gap solution. Thereby, I sorted out I need to finish out August on reduced hours but return in September to being double-stacked five days a week.

I’ve also reconsidered getting promoted at my day job – part of my hesitation were the expectations of the new job title and position; as it moves me into management. However, I’ve been running shifts by myself as a lead three times now in the last few weeks and I must confess, I’m enjoying the new challenge of it. Plus, I’m getting good at reading my co-workers – sorting out how to play to their strengths, put them on the right tasks and jobs and manage our time wisely. We’re getting things done on time or early and that makes me happy. I am also feeling more comfortable in this new position I’ll be rising into as previously I wasn’t sure I was ready to tackle it. I know a lot of my reasons for fobbing it off was due to my Dad’s situation.

Even before his health started to decline this year, I felt that I couldn’t take-on more stress and responsibilities than I was already doing on the job. I’ve been doing manager work without the promotion for awhile and I respect that they trust me in that role but to shift into that role officially took me a lot longer to realise I can do it. Now that Dad’s passed on, my upper managers took stock and notice that I really do need to move up and take-on the role I hesitated to accept. I spoke with them about my concerns, and they reassured me that I can play to my strengths and only tackle what I can personally handle whilst delegating other things to my co-workers and co-managers. That felt like a weight lifted. I’m not sure how long it will take to transition into that new role and pay scale but if it happens before the end of the year, I’d feel blessed.

Meanwhile, in the weeks since I last wrote an update on my blog, my Mum has been having issues of her own medically speaking. She was feeling off-balance and wasn’t comfortable driving – which is why I took over that part of our lives. She also used to pick up a family friend’s son at school and I’ve been doing that for her as well after work. Her doctor ordered an emergency MRI and carotid artery tests and somehow, by a big blessing the day I was told this ‘had to be done today!’ I was able to call-out from my day job as I arrived for my shift. My boss has been very understanding all along with my Dad’s hopsitialisations and Mum’s from Spring and Summer. This was unique as I didn’t have a chance to give any advance notice but simply walked into my shift and had to walk back out to take Mum to the hospital and imaging center instead. Some days you just don’t know what the hours will bring.

It took almost five days (agonizing days!) to find out that the carotid artery test was fine and no concerns there – which was a BIG relief because my Dad had to have surgery for that years ago and I still remember the hell he went through afterwards and during the procedure itself. I didn’t wish that on anyone much less my Mum! Then, in respect to the MRI – her doctor said they saw something, but they need clarification on what they saw and they requested another stat MRI this time with contrast. No other updates were given.

I felt like the ground fell under my feet. I mean, we had just lost my Dad and this nebulous news from her doctor wasn’t helping my anxieties or my emotional health. Mum bless her, is in good spirits and hasn’t felt anxious at all. She’s very strong in both faith and mind and she knows that whatever comes next we can handle it together and I agree with that — but as her daughter, I just couldn’t piece together how I could potentially lose both parents in the same year. That’s where my heart and mind went and it was hard to shift it off it. I did read that sometimes MRI’s give scary news that none of us are ready to hear at all and other times, they give news medically speaking that can be treated and recovered from — I’m prayerful that the latter is true. I truly do.

Which is why I have this small request:

I was hoping life would slow down a bit for us. Give us time to heal and move through our grief and find a bit of life’s joys again along the way. We’ve been doing that – thanks for comics and their wicked good humour as well as taking outings where we get out and get away from the daily grind together. Just to be somewhere else for a bit and give ourselves a proper reprieve from our regular days. I even was able to purchase new cookware which we’ve needed dearly in the last few years but I never could find the right ones. Wells, I stumbled across a set that was made with good materials and nothing harmful in my price bracket and I took a chance and surprised Mum with it. She was beyond shocked and has been enjoying cooking again with gusto! We’re eating at home more because of this and we’re both happier for it.

We also took steps to work on our health since Dad passed – I’ve been taking probiotics and vitamins to help me get through my workday as well as focus on my gut health. I also found a wicked good natural protein shake that gives me just what I need to get through an eight-hour shift. (or sometimes nine- or 10-hour shift) I even found new electrolytes to put into my water bottles which is truly resetting an internal balance as I’ve been struggling with dehydration this Summer. Mum has her own set of vitamins and supplements that are helping her as well. We’re also striving to eat healthy and be mindful of not overdoing sugars and sweets.

And, of course in the middle of sorting all of this out – we were given news we didn’t expect and that is how the MRI’s came into our lives. Her second MRI is on Monday the 25th of August. I’m not sure how long this will take to get results, but it has been a struggle for me to give it over to God and to find peace in the hours I’m working without letting my anxiety take over. I’d rather know what we were facing than have this unknown question mark hanging over us. It is better to know what you’re going to deal with than to have it left unanswered. I wish the doctor had given us more to go on but of course, half the time I feel they only share what they think we should know rather than the whole picture of what they think they know instead. It’s not their fault, I’m sure they’d rather be sure and that’s why the second MRI was ordered – but it’s the trigger point I wanted to know about — what triggered the main concern and what exactly do they think the tests are showing?

Lately it has just been a hard struggle.

Positive vibes and prayers for my Mum are appreciated right now. I’ve been prayerful myself and strive to wait it out without letting it stop my ability to work or to get through this with optimism. But there are days where it just feels difficult and hard and frustrating too. I mean, she’s gone through so much since last Autumn/Winter when she was first diagnosed with high blood pressure than in the Spring she had her asthma return without warning. That was followed by her gall bladder issues and then, Dad’s drastic turn in health and passing. I was hoping this would be a new start for both of us to get our health back on track and to go into a new season of Autumn this year with a solid footing of wellness.

I don’t know what else to share or say except that some days just hit harder than others. I’m still processing Dad’s death and now, I struggle with the worry and anxiety that a new MRI could reveal about my Mum. I’m just taking it one hour and one day at a time. That’s all I can do. Thankfully, I have two cats who love to cuddle and purr. They encourage my spirits every day. I also have a small circle of friends locally who are truly bolstering my spirit with their friendship, support and prayers.

In regard to my blog and readerly life:

I’ve been a bit lost as to what to read lately. Between moonlighting and working both my jobs and filling as a pick-up driver for a school-aged young boy – I haven’t had a lot of time to sort out where I left off with my readings. I finally realised I had leftover library books that never were returned to the library after Wyrd And Wonder. Blessedly I had extended borrow times to where nothing was overly overdue and my county waived late fees years ago. That was a hidden blessing for me considering how long I’ve had those books! Oy.

I finally just hauled the rest of the books I had on my desk I was reading for Wyrd And Wonder back to my bookcase. I just can’t get back into them right now. Not all of them anyway. Then, I was struck by the oddity of not being able to find the INSPY Fiction Romances and Romantic Suspense and Contemporary Romance stories I received recently to read and review. Those tend to pull me through harder times in life and give me something to chew on that is not only positive but wicked fun to read and allows me to mentally reset a bit emotionally too. I literally had to scour my bookcases and try hard to remember my thought process in how I was organising my books a few months before Dad died. Honestly, I couldn’t remember any of it and I couldn’t find the books for a good few days. At long last, I found them and put them back on my desk.

Ideally, this humble stack of books are my #currentreads – I am not setting a timeline of when I am finishing them as just to read a few pages lately takes extra concentration as my mind wanders or my emotions get me. But, evenso, I wanted to share which stories just appeal to me right now and these are the ones I want to read before the others:

• The Heavenly Sword by Alice Poon (this was already in-process to be reviewed in May)
• The Endless Frontier series by Brett Lurie (had planned to review in May and was planning to purchase the deluxe sequel but clearly those plans derailed a bit)
• Time-Marked Warlock by Shami Stovall (already in-progress from May to be reviewed both the physical book and the audiobook!)
• Death on the Golden Mile by Caleb Wygal (goodness! how I love this series! I bought all the books I was missing in the series this year, too!)
• The PI’s Deadly Charade by Anna J. Stewart (part of my continuing reading adventures of the Honour Bound series)
• A Guardian Til Christmas & Winning Over the Baker by Danielle Thorne (INSPY Roms that always put me in a good mood)
• A Surprise Second Chance by Anna J. Stewart (this is part of the Hawaiian Reunions series that I truly love to soak inside and revisit each time there is a new installment!)

It is a good rounding of genres and interests – the other books I was slated to read and review will come in time. Most likely towards September, October and November as I am just getting back into reading and sorting out how to return to blogging. Again, these books won’t be consumed within a week or even three, but they will be my #currentreads until they’ve been read and enjoyed. I love each of the writers’ voices inside the stories and each of their stories is giving me something I need right now. And, that’s something to celebrate right now.

Kindly read through my archives for #TheSundayPost

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