a Q&A session about “bullying”,…
Today on Jorie Loves A Story, I am choosing to bring a spotlight on “bullying” by asking questions of author Mitchell S. Karnes as to the possible reasons behind bullying as much as the potential ways to defuse bullying. This is in advance of revealing my impressions of his novel: “The Pact” which follows the life of Scott Addison, as he chooses to stand-up for one of his peers rather than to simply blend in with the crowd. This is a topic I believe everyone can relate too, whether directly or indirectly. Let us listen to his answers,…
What was your inspiration for writing this particular book?
Karnes responds: I had actually written what is now book two, The Dragon’s Pawn, and had submitted it to a publisher. He liked the story, but wanted more back story for the characters. His question to me was: “Why should I care about them?” He also said,“I think this would make a better young adult novel.” It got me thinking, and I began my revisions and what I thought would be two chapters of additional back story. One thing led to another and The Pact was born. As a pastor, teacher, coach, counselor and father of seven children, I am very aware of the horrors of bullying. It has become one of my greatest pet peeves, and I wanted to write a book that could at the very least create a dialogue between students and adults about the subject.
Did you have a personal experience with bullying? If so, was it difficult for you to fictionalize your own story?
Karnes responds: I was a very small child. In fact going through middle school there was only one person shorter than I. I had a lot of harassment from bullies. One particular boy would try to beat me up every day at school. I would wrestle him down, scissor lock his chest and make him promise not to beat me up. Funny thing is…he would…at least for the rest of that day. Thank God he was a boy of his word. But I began noticing something. All of the bullies I had encountered up to that point and since (with very few exceptions) hung around in packs. I don’t know what was magical about the number three, but most of those bullies were in groups of three boys. I also noticed they never tried to hurt me or harass me when others were around. That stuck with me.
Why do you think bullying has been brought to the forefront of the news of late? In light of the fact it has been going on for quite a long time?
Karnes responds: I think people have finally had enough. I remember hearing one father of a bully telling the principal, “Boys will be boys,” as if that made it okay. We are in a society where the expression of feelings is a little more acceptable so we are encouraging the victims to speak up. You Tube has also (like the Vietnam War) brought the war to our living rooms. It’s one thing to hear about children or teenagers being “bullied.” It’s quite another to see it and hear it. We are a visual people and while the advancements of the social media has its pros and cons, it at least has made the world more aware of the issues of bullying.
Whilst researching “The Pact”, did you find people were open to talking about their experiences in regards to being bullied &/or as a bully? (Did they share both sides of the situation?) Or, are you hoping that the conversation can be brought forward out of the reading of “The Pact” instead?
Karnes responds: Yes, and it broke my heart. I extended a question on Facebook and received the most personal of responses. Some still carried the emotional scars sixty years later. Some met up with their former bullies and reconciled their differences. And others had bullied younger and smaller kids because they learned to hate weakness from their parents and older siblings. It was a kind of pecking order for them. I am hoping The Pact will be used as a catalyst for conversations. I also have been scheduling speaking engagements in the local schools to discuss bullying and my book’s theme: “No one should ever have to stand alone.”
In your research, did you uncover if the presence of bullies in schools is more frequent in the United States, or is it an issue without borders? In light of this, did you find it more pronounced in schools elsewhere?
Karnes responds: I didn’t get into the international issue. To be quite honest, there was enough research material in the US to keep me busy for a lifetime (a sad truth).
What do you feel is attributing to the bullying behaviour? Are children being transferred too often, where they are presented as the ‘new kid’ more frequently than in the past? Or, is there an underlying factor that is being overlooked but is in plain sight?
Karnes responds: Being on the outside of existing groups is high on the research list of reasons kids get bullied. But I found the deeper issue isn’t the bully himself/herself as much as it is their learned environments. Our society rewards power and success at the expense of relationship and other’s rights. We encourage violence through television, movies and video games. It’s very difficult for a child or teen to understand why certain behaviors are acceptable in some settings and not in others.
As a pastor what do you feel will be a deciding factor in changing the current trend and mindset?
Karnes responds: I believe the current trends must be dealt with in a triage manner. First, we must empower the victims to avoid, prevent or stop episodes of bullying. Teach them what to look for, what to do if they find themselves in a dangerous situation, and how to stand alongside others who are easy victims. Once we have given them tools to affect their own safety, we can begin uncovering the fault of our society in the creation of these bullies. We can teach bullies better and more acceptable avenues of expressing their feelings and offer safe havens for those who themselves have been or are the victims of domestic violence.
At the first sign of bullying, what do you feel should be the first response (in reference to the child)? And, do you find children are prepared to handle bullies ahead of being bullied, or not? Is there a conversation happening between parents & children in other words?
Karnes responds: I could go on and on here, but “stopbullying.gov” gives this information in written and video formats. It is quite extensive and helpful.
How do you feel the culture of bullying can be eradicated to where the most severe of consequences will stop occurring?
Karnes responds: To be honest, as long as there is sin in the world, we will have selfishness…and as long as selfishness exists, bullying will also. I’m not certain it can be eradicated, but we can do a better job of educating children and their parents and providing tools that can lessen the power and damage of bullies. Just remember: the bullies themselves are not the enemy…the act of bullying is.
What is your greatest hope for “The Pact” to achieve as far as impacting the children in school today?
Karnes responds: My greatest hope would be the eradication of bullying. My practical expectations are: The Pact to be used as a catalyst for discussions on bullying; provide a less invasive means to teaching appropriate responses; and encourage others to stand together for each other…not just against bullies.
You can read more about Mitchell S. Karnes on his personal blog: The Innerside.
My eagerness to have Mr. Karnes book showcased and reviewed on Jorie Loves A Story, is in part due to the project I found in late November where Corbin Bleu was spear-heading a funding of the Indie film “The Day I Died”.
We want to get @thedayidied made because of things that happen like in this video. Please contribute and spread… http://t.co/gMqJPikM9s
— Corbin Bleu (@corbinbleu) November 21, 2013
“The Day I Died” Official Film Pre-Production Trailer [TDID Final] via Michael Emanuel
I have my own memories and experiences of being bullied as a child and adolescent throughout my school days, to the brink where in my generation (I am 10 years younger than Mr. Bleu), it wasn’t even identified as ‘bullying’, but rather just the things all kids go through whilst in school. I remember vividly trying to get bullies to stop harassing me only to be told that I was the one at fault for making false claims or complaints about something that was considered minor in the faculty’s eyes rather than serious in my own. If any situation grew to be larger than what I deemed I could handle or work around at school, I always asked my parents to sort out where I could transfer next. I ended up transferring school quite a heap growing up; spilt between being bullied and seeking better academic opportunities.
Which is why I wanted to open up a discussion thread on my blog hinged to being on the blog tour for The Pact. I wanted to participate in a Reader Submitted Q&A with the author as a way to open up the lines of communication as well. I believe the questions I pitched to Mr. Karnes goes towards understanding how bullying begins but also, how to take steps to work towards a world where bullies no longer have the power and strength they can wield over those they choose to pick on today. I was fortunate to grow up in a home where my parents backed me, supported what I confided in them, and supplemented my education each chance they could. I know a lot of my peers did not have the confidence of their parents to turn too, and I always regretted more of my peers did not have parents who believed n them rather than in what they were told by others.
I am hopeful that the film The Day I Died goes into full production and after its release will be available on dvd if it doesn’t get a wide audience screening. I’d very much like to see the full story as the trailer itself is full of heart and truth. Films like these and books like The Pact are small ways of empowering change and giving the strength back to those who feel as though their voice is not yet being heard. I applaud all writers, actors, and film-makers who take up the courage to shine a light on stories which can create social change.
I open this post to you, dear hearts. My readers and visitors alike who have alighted on my blog to read this special Q&A about a topic which is starting to take center-stage due to the severity of the consequences bullying is causing. I hope that either the film or book mentioned today can draw a measure of comfort for you or someone you know who is experiencing bullying. Let them know they are not alone, and always to remember that each of us is individualistically unique. We all have a light to shine out into the world. And, we all have gifts to leave behind. True strength comes in the courage to believe we are strong enough to stand up for ourselves and advocate for peace.
This Author Q&A session is courtesy of:
The second half of this showcase is my review of “The Pact”.
Be sure to scope out my Bookish Upcoming Events to mark your calendars!!
Similar to blog tours, when I feature a showcase for an author via a Guest Post, Q&A, Interview, etc., I do not receive compensation for featuring supplemental content on my blog.
{SOURCES: Mitchell S. Karnes photograph, and the logo badge for TLC Book Tours were all provided by TLC Book Tours and used with permission. The official trailer for “The Day I Died” had either URL share links or coding which made it possible to embed this media portal to this post, and I thank them for the opportunity to share more about this novel and the author who penned it. Post dividers were provided by Shabby Blogs, who give bloggers free resources to add personality to their blogs. Blog tour badge provided by Parajunkee to give book bloggers definition on their blogs. Tweet of Corbin Bleu was made possible by embed codes via Twitter. I requested an Author Q&A with the author in which I submitted the Questions for Karnes through TLC Book Tours and received his answers through Ms. Munley.}
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